Car Seats & Commitment Issues

Because life comes with both

Therapy was the best thing I could have done after everything I’d been through, especially before diving headfirst back into the dating scene. And dive I did, into dating both men and women. What followed was a whirlwind of dysfunction and commitment issues.

I don’t want to sound completely cynical, there are good people out there looking for the same things you and I are. But stepping back from the apps for a while has left me amazed (and sometimes disheartened) by how people treat each other.

Dating as a single dad is a bit like playing two entirely different sports at the same time, one in a nightclub full of flashing lights and shirtless torsos, the other in a quiet library where everyone’s whispering and taking notes.

On the gay side, the apps feel like an endless club where every profile picture is from 2018, every height is suspiciously “5’10” 😉,” and bios brag about being “masc, chill, and drama-free” while they’re actively starting drama in another chat. Matches can go from flirty to full-on ghosted in under an hour. It’s all about instant gratification, until they realize I can’t “come over” in 20 minutes because I’m knee-deep in bedtime stories and snack negotiations. Lining up a date is like trying to dock two ships in the dark during a storm: my schedule’s tight, their patience is short, and somewhere in there, the mood dies.

On the women’s side, dating apps are slower, more thoughtful, and far less likely to hit me with an unsolicited anatomy pic. But “Hey” to “Let’s meet” can take longer than some celebrity marriages. Add in dad duties, and it becomes an Olympic sport in calendar coordination: “I can do Tuesday after soccer practice if you can do Thursday next week after bedtime, unless my kid gets sick or your cat needs an emergency vet visit.” Women tend to be more empathetic about parenting chaos, but hesitation and overthinking can still stall things before they start.

In both worlds, there are genuine, wonderful people out there, but finding them means navigating ghosters, overthinkers, and people whose schedules align with mine about once every lunar eclipse. And honestly? That’s before you even get to the part where you decide if you actually like each other.

The truth is, modern app dating runs on commitment issues. Too many people are chasing the idea of connection but flinch the moment it starts to get real, always wondering if there’s someone “better” just a swipe away. The apps make it easy to start talking, but even easier to disappear. These days, dating isn’t just about finding someone you click with, it’s about finding someone willing to stay once the clicking stops feeling shiny and new.