Single Dad, Double Espresso

Keeping up with kids and dating apps requires caffeine

Growing up, I always pictured that stereotypical little family unit, family vacations, over-the-top Christmases, playtime with cousins. I never imagined it would all come crashing down. But in 2022, it did.

My ex-wife and I both worked in emergency services, and we struggled with our mental health, made worse by the lack of real support from our employers. It showed. My family didn’t help either; small-town parents with a narrow view of how their children should live, they often interfered. As for my ex-wife, we met at work, and the moment I saw her, I knew she was something special. She remains, beyond our children, the only person I believe I’ve truly loved.

I thought our marriage was strong. We didn’t yell, and while we had our disagreements like any couple, I fucking loved that woman and would have gone to the ends of the earth for her, a devotion I learned, far too late, was to my own detriment. We struggled with fertility, and after some tough conversations, we were blessed with our first child. Later, after many failed attempts, we lost a second child late into the pregnancy. Then, to our surprise, we welcomed our daughter, just a week into the pandemic.

Through that time we tried couples therapy, I left my career, I started some intensive therapy, but ultimately she asked for a divorce.

Now today, nearly 3 years later reflecting on my life. A Single Dad, avid dating app scroller, I’m in need of a Double Espresso.